The Golden Oldies Guesthouse (ARC) Read online

  ‘Hey, Mum, this looks impressive!’ she said as she got out the car, shaking her auburn hair and straightening out her long limbs. She yawned and stretched. ‘This looks like a lot of house!’

  As Tess led the way in, Simon emerged from the kitchen to hug his stepdaughter. ‘Hi, Amber! Good flight?’

  ‘Not bad,’ Amber replied, heading into the kitchen. ‘This is very nice.’

  ‘You should have seen it when we first arrived!’ Tess exclaimed. ‘There was a sink, two electric points and not much else. When you’ve had a look round I’ll bore you with the before and after photos of this place.’

  ‘Our guests have all gone upstairs,’ Simon said, ‘so why don’t you two go through to the lounge and I’ll bring you drinks. I’ve even floodlit the terrace in your honour!’

  Amber smiled. ‘I see you’ve got him fully trained, Mum.’

  Later, as they sat together with a bottle of wine, Tess regaled Amber with descriptions of their somewhat odd guests.

  ‘I remember Titania Terry,’ Amber said. ‘She had a small part in a war epic I was on some years ago. It took me longer to scrape off all her own make-up than it did to do her up for the film. She had a big thing with Henry Houseman for years. Remember him?’

  ‘Only vaguely,’ Tess replied, sipping her wine.

  ‘Well, he was known to be a bit of a lothario and I think most of the passion was on her side. Then he scarpered off with some other old bird, Clarice Somebody-or-Other, and he was dead within weeks. Come to think of it, I seem to remember that Clarice lived down here somewhere in Cornwall – the Lizard, I think.’

  ‘Perhaps Titania plans to visit her?’ Tess suggested.

  ‘I doubt it. I shouldn’t think there was much love lost between these two. After all, she stole Titania’s bloke.’

  ‘I wonder why she’s come down here then? Perhaps Henry’s buried in Cornwall and she’s come to visit the grave?’

  ‘Who knows?’

  ‘Anyway, you’ll like Dominic. He’s nice, easy to get on with. And he’s writing a book. Don’t know what you’ll make of Celia. She’s very prim and proper, no make-up at all, looked after an ailing mother for years. Real stereotypical spinster but there’s something about her… can’t quite make her out. She’s trying to paint. They’re all here for weeks but at least they’re paying well, and we have lots of bookings for later in the year.’

  ‘That’s great, Mum, and not too many for you to cope with; just the four rooms.’

  ‘When you vacate your room we have a couple from Essex coming for a month. Don’t quite know what they’re planning to be doing.’

  As Amber headed upstairs she told her mother that she wouldn’t be eating a cooked breakfast but had decided she’d like to join the guests out of curiosity. She’d appear for a continental breakfast when she knew they’d be sitting down.

  * * *

  She made her entrance into the dining room just as Dominic was spreading marmalade on his toast and Celia was pouring herself another cup of tea.

  Tess made the introductions. ‘Amber’s just come down for a couple of days to see the place before our next guests arrive.’

  Dominic stood up to shake her hand and Celia, seated, did the same.

  ‘Have you come far?’ Dominic asked.

  ‘From London,’ Amber replied. ‘Flew down last night and Mum picked me up from Newquay. So it was dark when I got here and I wasn’t able to see the view. Isn’t it amazing?’ She wandered across to gaze out the window before sitting down next to Dominic.

  ‘It’s stunning,’ said Celia, dabbing her lips daintily with the napkin. ‘I’m trying very hard to do justice to it with my painting but I fear the effect I’m striving to create completely eludes me.’

  At that moment Titania appeared, clad in an emerald green kaftan heavily embroidered with silver and gold sequins on the front, silver high-heeled sandals, half a dozen jangling bracelets and her dyed hair tied up in a messy knot adorned with some sparkly clips. Although Amber had vaguely remembered seeing her before, Tess noticed her daughter still did a double take. And she knew exactly what Amber was thinking – this woman really did look just like a walking Christmas tree!

  Amber shook Titania’s bony be-ringed hand. ‘I think we may have met some years ago,’ she said, ‘when I did your make-up for They Shall Not Win, remember? I think it was at Elstree Studios.’

  ‘Oh probably, darling,’ Titania replied dismissively. ‘I was kept so busy at that time it’s hard to remember everyone. Was Henry with me?’

  ‘Not that I recall,’ Amber replied.

  ‘How nice to meet someone from the world of show business!’ Titania exclaimed, sipping her orange juice. She looked with distaste at Celia, who was rising from the table with a polite ‘excuse me’ and heading hastily out the door, closely followed by Dominic, who said it was time for his morning walk.

  Amber turned her attention back to Titania. ‘Well, it must be nice to get away from it all. I understand you’re here for some time?’

  ‘Oh, just a few weeks, darling, to recharge the batteries.’

  ‘What do you plan to be doing? Reading? Writing? Painting? Walking?’

  ‘Oh, just one or two things that need attending to,’ Titania said vaguely.

  At that moment Tess came back in with Titania’s cooked breakfast and Amber made her escape. Tess followed Amber into the kitchen and began to load up the dishwasher.

  ‘Leave that for a moment, Mum,’ Amber said. ‘I’d like you to show me round outside.’ Tess linked arms with her daughter as they wandered past the line of parked cars and then headed through the trees to the famous Windsor Castle. Amber grinned at her mother. ‘I can see your handiwork in here, all these colourful cushions and curtains. Very cosy. Peter and I could happily ensconce ourselves in this quirky little retreat. Mind you, I can understand how nervous you must have been here alone during the long dark nights when Simon was in London. I can well imagine how scary it was.’

  When they wandered round to the rear of the house to admire the view they found Simon struggling to erect the final few glass panels on the wall.

  ‘Can’t wait to get this job finished and take that damned sign down,’ he said. He indicated the expanse of glass that formed the dining room window. ‘I’m sick of being gawped at by that old bat.’

  Tess turned round to see Titania gazing out admiringly, watching Simon’s every move.

  He sighed. ‘It’s disconcerting, I can tell you.’

  Tess was highly amused by Titania’s obvious adoration of Simon.

  ‘Oh yes,’ she said to Amber as they sipped coffee in the kitchen. ‘She never takes her eyes off him and it’s driving him mad! What do you think of her, anyway?’

  Amber thought for a moment. ‘I know she’s slightly batty but I get the definite impression that she’s down here for a reason. Keep me posted on what she gets up to!’

  ‘I will,’ Tess said.

  ‘I assume that flashy red BMW is Titania’s?’

  ‘Believe it or not,’ Tess replied, ‘that is Celia’s car.’

  ‘Celia’s? I imagined her driving around in an old Morris Minor or something. Well, that’s a surprise! I had a good look through the windows and there’s less than a thousand miles on the clock so she’s not had it long. And have you noticed her watch?’

  ‘Not really, no.’

  ‘Well, from where I was sitting it was almost certainly a Rolex. It was expensive, anyway. Did you say she was retired?’

  ‘Yes, apparently she is,’ Tess said.

  ‘She must have a good pension, then.’

  Tess looked thoughtful. ‘I wouldn’t have thought it was excessive. From what I gather she worked in the office of some garage or other for years and years. Mind you her mother died recently so possibly she inherited a fair bit.’

  ‘Probably invested it wisely so she could have a nice long holiday. With a nice flashy car. And a nice flashy watch.’

  ‘Probably,’ Tess agreed. />
  * * *

  Tess enjoyed Amber’s visit. She took Amber down to The Portmerryn Arms for lunchtime drinks and sandwiches as the guests had all gone out for the day. There was the usual quartet of ancient locals rattling away with their dominoes in the corner, and several groups of walkers with their sturdy boots and backpacks, all ordering one of Jed’s famous lunchtime fry-ups. More surprisingly, Dominic was sitting in the corner with a pint of beer and reading his Daily Telegraph. He looked up and waved as they came in, but then continued reading his paper.

  Tess introduced Amber to Jed and to Gideon, who was drying glasses in the background.

  ‘Well, this is all as it should be,’ Amber remarked as they sat down by the window. ‘Proper spit ’n’ sawdust pub! I bet it’s cosy in the winter.’

  ‘It is,’ Tess agreed, ‘and Jed and Annie have been very helpful to us. And Gideon, too.’

  ‘Nice looking chap,’ Amber observed.

  ‘Gideon? Bit of an enigma,’ Tess said, ‘and still living at home with Mum and Dad. He must be well in his forties. Nice guy, though.’

  Afterwards they strolled along the beach to watch the surfers and Tess pointed out the rear of the cottage which she and Simon had rented nearly a year ago.

  ‘You’re not sorry you came, are you, Mum?’

  ‘No, not at all,’ Tess replied truthfully. ‘It’s been a struggle at times to get everything up and running, but worth it in the end. Do you think you could climb up the cliff? There’s a not-too-steep path that winds its way up, and the view from the top is spectacular.’

  ‘Just as well I brought my trainers then.’

  As they made their way carefully up the stony coastal path they met several groups of serious walkers, complete with poles.

  ‘Lots of people walk the South-West Coast Path,’ Tess explained. ‘Very few walk it all in one go but you get a lot of others who walk so many miles each time, and then come back the following year to continue from where they left off. The pub does a brisk trade all summer.’

  The path was steep in places and they stopped halfway up for a rest.

  ‘We must look like real wimps,’ Amber said as groups of walkers overtook them with cheerful remarks like, ‘Steep, isn’t it?’ and ‘Lovely day!’

  When they got to the top Amber was overcome by the view up and down the coast from Hartland Point to Trevose Head, while the surf crashed onto the rocks beneath. On the horizon a couple of enormous container ships were heading up to Bristol and – closer to shore – a couple of fishing boats were bobbing up and down on the waves.

  ‘It’s stunning,’ Amber observed as she took countless panoramic shots on her phone. ‘I almost expect Ross Poldark to come riding along any minute!’

  ‘Well, they do film it on this coast,’ Tess said, ‘but not at the moment.’

  They spent almost an hour sitting on the old wooden seat amidst the thrift and the gorse and the wild thyme at the top of the cliff, gazing out to sea. When they got back to The Sparrows’ Nest they found Simon had finished erecting the glass panels and had removed the offending sign.

  * * *

  Amber’s visit was all too short and, early the next evening while Simon was starting to prepare dinner, Tess drove her to Newquay Airport to get the flight back to London. Amber enthused about her visit, about the house and about the stunning scenery. She promised to return, with Peter, and that they’d be more than happy to be accommodated in Windsor Castle.

  ‘Don’t forget, Mum,’ she said, ‘I want you to keep me updated with all the nitty-gritty on your crazy guests!’

  ‘Don’t worry, I will,’ Tess said. ‘You’re not the only one who’s dying to know what they’re planning to do next.’

  20

  THE MERRYWEATHERS

  Joe Merryweather swore as he got stuck in his Mercedes behind a tractor for mile after mile with no opportunity to overtake.

  ‘Wouldn’t you think he’d pull in somewhere and let us pass?’ he ranted.

  ‘Well, he’s only doing his job and we’re in no great hurry,’ Jackie reasoned.

  ‘Oh, I get it, the tractor driver’s right and I’m wrong, as usual,’ Joe snapped.

  ‘Pretty much,’ said Jackie, adjusting her hair in the mirror.

  ‘You’ve done nothing but criticise my driving the whole bloody way down here!’

  ‘No, I haven’t. I just get fed up of you shouting abuse at other road users and then driving up the backside of whatever car’s in front.’

  At this point the tractor turned into a farm gateway.

  ‘Not before time!’ Joe snarled as he accelerated wildly, only to find himself behind a very slow-moving tanker. ‘Bloody hell!’

  Jackie sniggered. ‘Serves you right!’

  ‘I don’t know why you chose this hell-hole of a place anyway; we could have gone to Southend or Margate or – if you really wanted to get further away – Blackpool! That’s a great place, Blackpool!’

  ‘We wanted to get away somewhere completely different, if you remember? We wanted peace and quiet so we could sort ourselves out, and that’s what we’re going to have, Joe.’

  Joe pulled a face and continued at a steady thirty behind the tanker. ‘What’s he doing in the middle of nowhere, anyway?’

  ‘Probably heading for Portmerryn, same as us.’

  ‘Bloody hell, we’ve miles to go yet!’

  Jackie sighed. This did not bode well for what was supposed to be an idyllic break to repair their ailing marriage – although at times like this she was none too sure if she really wanted it repaired. The kids were off their hands years ago, they’d both retired, the mortgage was paid and freedom beckoned. Perhaps what she needed was freedom from this bully of a man she’d been married to for the past thirty-seven years. This holiday had been her idea. Jackie hoped that, away from everyone and everything, they might recapture something of those early days before he got so stressed and bad-tempered with business. One last try and, if it didn’t work, she was off. People didn’t stick in dodgy marriages these days. And she was only just beginning to realise that she didn’t have to put up with Joe’s behaviour any more.

  The tanker slowed right down.

  ‘Now what?’ Joe yelled, and they crawled along for at least a couple of hundred yards before they saw a young deer jump up from in front of the tanker and hurl itself through the hedge.

  ‘Oh, how lovely!’ Jackie exclaimed. ‘I think it was a young one.’

  ‘Damned nuisance!’ Joe growled. ‘The tanker driver should have had it – nice bit of roadkill venison.’

  ‘Is there no end to your nastiness?’ Jackie sighed. ‘Such lovely creatures!’

  She realised nothing was going to please him. He didn’t want to be here in the first place and he seemed to be becoming more and more aggressive. She was already regretting her decision to make this trip.

  ‘Just look at that view!’ exclaimed Jackie when they rounded the top of the hill and Portmerryn came into view.

  ‘Yeah, very nice, what I can see of it round this bleeding tanker.’ Joe’s temper was not improving.

  ‘And look at that cliff! It’s practically vertical! And all that sea – the Atlantic Ocean!’

  ‘I did do geography at school so I know it’s the Atlantic bleedin’ ocean. Blackpool’s on the Atlantic, just in case you hadn’t noticed.’

  ‘I suppose it is in a way, but it’s really the Irish Sea,’ Jackie sighed, ‘and it’s not the same as the proper ocean. Just look at all that surf!’

  Her husband snorted but said nothing. As they came down into the village Jackie said, ‘What a sweet little shop!’

  ‘Fine if you need to buy a bucket and spade but shouldn’t think they sell much else.’

  ‘Do you always have to be such a pessimist?’

  ‘I’m just bloody realistic, that’s all. It’s you who’s in cloud cuckoo land. Anyway, shouldn’t think there’s much call for your sushi stuff round here.’

  ‘I’ve not come to Cornwall for sushi,
I’ve come for peace and quiet and a cream tea or two!’

  As they passed the row of fisherman’s cottages Joe espied The Portmerryn Arms. ‘At least there’s a pub!’

  ‘Next left,’ said Jackie.

  ‘What? Where?’

  ‘Slow down, Joe! Damn, you’ve missed it – it was that narrow turning back there. You’ll have to reverse a bit but there’s no one behind.’

  Joe swore under his breath as he reversed back and then accelerated up the hill, hitting one of the larger potholes as he did so. ‘Bloody hell! There’s even craters in the road!’

  ‘Well, if you didn’t drive like a maniac you’d be able to see them and avoid them. Now, we’re looking for a turning on the right but slow down or we’ll miss that, too.’

  ‘Godforsaken place!’ muttered Joe as he swerved up the drive to The Sparrows’ Nest. ‘What sort of a name is that, anyway? Shouldn’t think the sparrows would bother to fly up here.’

  ‘It’s because it’s a Mr and Mrs Sparrow who own it. I think it’s a brilliant name.’

  Joe parked alongside a smart red BMW. ‘Looks like they might have some decent guests here,’ he conceded as he stood admiring it. ‘That’s the latest sports model, must have cost a bob or two,’ he added approvingly.

  As they entered through the open front door Jackie headed towards the attractive lady behind the desk in the large hallway.

  ‘Hello!’ said the lady. ‘You must be Mr and Mrs Merryweather? How was your journey?’

  ‘Bloody awful,’ said Joe, ‘holiday traffic everywhere, crawling along…’

  ‘It wasn’t that bad,’ Jackie said, glaring at her husband. ‘Anyway, it’s what you’d expect this time of year. I’m Jackie, and this is Joe.’

  ‘I’m Tess. Let me get your key and I’ll show you to your room.’

  Tess picked up the key and led the way upstairs to Room 4.

  ‘Oh, what a lovely room!’ said Jackie, looking around.

  ‘Where’s the sea view?’ asked Joe.

  ‘I told you we didn’t have a sea view,’ snapped Jackie.